-Yo mamma so ugly she went into a haunted house and came out with a job application.
-Yeah well. Your momma so ugly her reflection said; ‘I quit!’
-Yo momma so stupid they told her it was chili outside she went and got a bowl.
Jamina had to cover her mouth to keep from spitting out her wine as Lane and Kyle went back and forth in her dorm room trying to outdo the other with ‘Yo Momma’ jokes. Jamina sat on her bed watching her friends joke around and drink wine while she pretended to work on her take-home final for Calculus. It was almost two in the morning and Jamina could no longer lie to herself about her progress and decided to just sit back and chill for the next hour. Campus was more than half empty and the only two people left on her floor other than her were Candice the RA and Lane.
“Real talk,” Jamina laughed. “Lane stomped you with that last one. I almost choked on my wine.”
“I told y’all I was the master,” Lane proclaimed, his brown eyes glistening as his full lips formed a smirk. He was taller than Jamina with brown hair and tan skin. He had become all that Jamina could think about since they met at first year orientation.
“No way, I want a rematch,” Kyle pouted and flicked Jamina’s Christmas lights.
Christmas was Jamina’s favorite holiday. Not because of the presents, although that was a bonus; Jamina loved the lights. Ever since she was a little girl she loved driving around town with her father to see all the houses with Christmas lights. Her family was poor and could never afford the extravagant lights and decorations but that didn’t stop her father from letting his daughter admire the lights of houses that could afford the luxury. Looking at Christmas lights were her favorite memories of her father so of course her room was covered in colorful Christmas lights.
The door swung open as Hillary barged in with two more bottles of wine in her hands. She was only in her first semester of freshmen year and she had become quite crafty at procuring alcohol from upperclassmen. Hillary had reddish-brown hair and long legs with an attitude that could intimidate some professors on campus. She was beautiful and intelligent and didn’t have to over compensate for anything. Jamina admired Hillary, they were two of nine Black girls on campus but that wasn’t what led them to become friends; they became quick friends during the second week of school when Jamina was walking to class singing “Where My Girls At?” by 702 and Hillary interrupted her bridge solo. They both loved nineties R&B and it was the foundation of their friendship. Or at least that’s what they would say.
“Look what ya girl got for ya,” Hillary smirked as she closed the door behind her.
“Sweet! I need a refill,” Lane smiled.
“Who’s ya girl,” Hilary smirked.
“Well Jamina did provide the first bottle so I’d say her but you are definitely a close second,” Kyle joked.
Hillary rolled her eyes. “So what did I miss,” Hillary asked passing the bottle to Lane.
“I was just in the middle of handing Kyle his own balls with Yo Momma jokes,” Lane grinned.
“Doesn’t that just happen whenever he opens his mouth,” Hillary spit out her tongue.
“Hey, I can hold my own,” Kyle defended.
Beyoncé’s Drunk in Love hummed through Jamina’s laptop and she jumped off her bed and began singing and dancing.
“This is my song,” she sang.
“You know I love me some Beyoncé, ‘Cigars on ice. Cigars on ice!” Hillary sang as she joined Jamina in the middle of the room.
Lane and Kyle joined them and they all sang at the tops of their lungs. Jamina moved her hips, flirting with Lane as she sang along with Beyoncé. Suddenly a bang on the door made them all freeze and Jamina quickly turned down the music.
“Who is it?” Jamina croaked.
“The police; open up,” a young woman’s voice shouted through the door.
Jamina rolled her eyes and walked to the door.
“Funny,” she spat her tongue out, opening the door for Candice.
“Are you Freshies drinking without me,” Candice teased as she walked into the room.
“We were trying to,” Hillary remarked.
“Be nice or I won’t share this amazing bottle of Vodka with you,” Candice shrugged.
“We would never drink without you my Mistress of Ceremonies,” Hillary joked.
“What do you say we go down to the longue, mix up some drinks and watch Mean Girls? It’s the best movie to drink to,” Candice enticed.
“You had me at mixed drinks,” Lane teased as he led the way out of the room.
“You are the most awesomest Resident Assistant ever,” Kyle grinned.
“I know right,” she grinned, her blonde curly hair bouncing as she followed the others down the stairs.
They weren’t even twenty minutes into the movie before Jamina was feeling buzzed and she could tell that her friends were on their way there if they weren’t already. Jamina took another drink.
“How is it possible that every rule we made has already been used,” Jamina laughed.
“I told you this was the best movie to drink to,” Candice giggled.
“Somebody pass me the soda,” Jamina requested. “I need to make another drink.”
“We’re all out,” Kyle replied.
“There’s the soda machine down the hall,” Candice suggested.
“Fine, anybody want anything,” Jamina offered.
“Diet Pepsi,” Candice requested.
“Dr. Pepper,” Hillary and Kyle said simultaneously.
“I’ll go with you,” Lane offered.
Jamina bit her lip to keep a smile from stretching across her face. The two walked down the hall silently. Lane kept his eyes on the carpet and his hands in his pocket.
“So are you excited for Christmas break?” Jamina finally broke the silence.
“Most definitely,” he grinned. “I can’t wait to see my family and go eel-ing.”
“You mean like long and slimy creatures from the sea?” Jamina’s face twisted.
Lane laughed. “Yeah they’re actually really good.”
“Then you should bring me some to try,” she flirted.
“Really,” he smiled. “You’d be down to try it?”
“Yea I like trying new things,” she smiled as they reached the middle of the hall where the entrance was.
Before Jamina and Lane could turn to the soda machine someone startled them, banging on the entrance in a panic. Jamina jumped as she watched the young man bang and beg for help. Lane hesitated before finally opening the door and letting the guy in. The young man quickly pulled the door closed behind him and turned to Jamina.
“Call the police,” the young man cried. “He’s out there. He killed her.”
Jamina’s heart began to race as she watched the panicking boy dripping wet from the rain. His breathing was heavy and his shirt was ripped. He was bleeding.
“Are you okay? What happened to your side? You’re bleeding,” Jamina exclaimed.
“We have to hide and call the police. He followed me here,” the young man exclaimed.
“What’s all the commotion over here,” Candice asked as she walked down the hall with Hillary and Kyle following.
“He is coming here right now,” the young man cried.
“Martin?” Hillary squinted.
“You know this guy?” Lane asked.
“Yeah, he lives on my hall,” Hillary replied. “What happened to him?”
“He was attacked, I think,” Jamina answered.
“He’s out there,” Martin cried.
“Bullying is not cool,” Candice declared as she pulled out a can of mace from her pocket.
“He’s out there right now?” Candice asked. “Let’s have a chat with this asshole.”
Candice marched to the entrance door. Martin started panicking, trying to stop Candice from going outside. Lane and Kyle held him back as they all watched Candice push open the door and stick her arm out in front of her. Candice looked down the walkaway. There was no one there.
“There’s no one out here,” she huffed, standing in the doorway.
“What did this guy look like?” Kyle questioned.
Martin’s eyes grew wide with fear and he pointed at Candice. Candice quickly turned around to find a man holding a hook towering in front of her. The man swiftly cut her throat and she fell to her knees clutching her neck. The man was wearing a hat, making it hard to see his face. Martin broke free of Kyle and Lane’s grasp and ran down the hall. Hillary and Kyle began screaming as the man walked into the dormitory. Lane quickly grabbed Jamina by the wrist and ran towards the staircase.
“We gotta get out of here!” he yelled at his friends.
Hillary and Kyle were quickly behind them as they rushed up the stairs. They dashed up to the third floor and stopped outside of Jamina’s room.
“Where’s your key?” Lane asked.
Jamina swallowed and said, “In the living room.”
“Let’s break down the door then,” Kyle suggested.
“No use,” Hillary replied. “This is a women’s floor. The doors were built to not be easily broken into. Trust me, I know from experience.”
“Damn it,” Kyle shouted.
“Chill out man,” Lane asserted. “We have to find something to defend ourselves with.”
“Yea, while you figure that out I’ll call the police,” Hillary said, pulling out her cellphone and dialing 9-1-1.
“That’s good,” Lane nodded. “But the police station is 50 miles away. We need to defend ourselves until they get here.”
“A knife,” Kyle suggested. “From the kitchen, no that’s downstairs where the scary man with a hook is waiting for us.”
Jamina’s heart was banging inside of her chest and all she could picture was Candice’s face as she dropped to the floor. Lane squeezed her shoulders and caught her attention.
“It’s going to be okay,” Lane comforted. “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Mindy Falk,” Jamina squeaked.
Her friends gave her twisted looks as she walked three rooms down the hall.
“She’s on the softball team,” Jamina exclaimed. “She has a bunch of bats in her room.”
“Okay that’s great but how do we get into her room,” Hillary remarked.
“Sabrina is Mindy’s neighbor and she loses her key so much that she had her dad make her a spare,” Jamina responded, walking to Sabrina’s door and standing on the tip of her toes to reach the key hiding above the door.
“Isn’t it against school code to duplicate your room key? How’d she find a place to do it?” Hillary questioned.
“Her dad’s a locksmith,” Jamina shrugged.
“That’s great ladies but can we discuss how we’re getting from Sabrina’s room to Mindy’s?” Kyle exclaimed.
“Ewww, drop the attitude,” Hillary remarked.
“There’s a tiny ledge between rooms on this floor,” Jamina replied. “I climbed out on it once when my roommate locked me out.”
Suddenly the lights in the hall flicked off and the four friends jumped. The dim emergency lights popped on and Jamina pushed the key into Sabrina’s door.
“He’s coming for us,” Kyle cried.
“Hillary take Kyle and hide in the bathroom,” Lane delegated. “Jamina and I will find the bats and come find you when we get them. Stay together and scream if that guy finds you.”
“What?” Kyle cried.
“If he finds you then it’s too late to try to stay quiet,” Lane responded.
Hillary nodded, grabbed Kyle by the wrist and crept down the hall to the bathroom. Jamina pushed open Sabrina’s door and quietly stepped into the darkness. Lane followed closely and closed the door behind them.
“Don’t lock it,” Jamina whispered. “I’ll grab the bats and come back to find you.”
Lane nodded as Jamina crept toward the window. Lane helped her open it.
“Are you sure you’ll be able to get in,” Lane asked.
“Yea, there’s a trick to opening the windows from the outside. I got this,” she half smiled.
“Alright but be careful,” Lane replied as Jamina climbed out onto the thin ledge.
Jamina’s smile grew and she turned back to the window and pressed her lips against Lane’s. Jamina pulled away and said, “I needed to get that out of the way.”
Lane smiled as Jamina stood up on the ledge, her back pressed against the brick and slowly moved towards Mindy’s room. The rain poured down onto her soaking her clothes and flesh. Her heart danced around her ribcage as she stepped closer to the window. When she finally reached the window she found herself staring down at the lawn as the screams of Martin filled the air. She couldn’t see him anywhere until he crashed through the window below her and down to the lawn. Jamina shuddered as the man with the hook popped his head out of the window to take in the death of his latest victim. The man quickly twisted his head up and spotted Jamina. The man grinned up at Jamina as if he had just found a chest filled with gold. She just became next on his list. His glowing eyes were clear now and Jamina could see his face perfectly. He was a monster; he was killing for fun and Jamina could see it clearly in his eyes.
The man disappeared into the room. Jamina’s heart sank as she turned to open Mindy’s window. After moments of fighting with the window she lifted it open and dove into the darkness. Jamina looked around the room then quickly crawled to the closet. She pulled Sabrina’s closet open and dug through clothes and shoes until she felt the bats. There were three of them tossed in the corner. Jamina crawled out the closet with the three bats and turned to leave the room. She froze as she heard the door knob jiggle in the darkness.
Jamina turned and rushed to the window but was quickly interrupted as the man with the hook shoved her to ground and stepped into the room. The bats scattered on the floor and Jamina scooted into the darkness. The man grinned as he towered over Jamina. Jamina felt around the floor for something, anything to defend against this wicked man. Finally she managed to find one of the bats and as the man moved closer to her something overpowered her and she swung the bat as hard as she could. The man fell to the floor and Jamina raised the bat for one more swing before turning to the door. As she pulled it open, Lane and Hilary pushed into the room.
“He got Kyle!” Hilary cried.
“Where are the bats?” Lane exclaimed.
Jamina screamed as the man pulled her back by her hair. Hilary tried to help Jamina but the man was ready and he pushed her hard against the wall. He quickly kicked Lane in the chest, sending him out of the room and slammed the door shut.
“Hilary!” Jamina screamed. “Get out of here.”
Hilary rushed the man swinging at him as fast and as hard as he could. He hollered; shoving Jamina against the desk in the corner of the room as he turned to Hilary. He slapped her and when she recovered, ready to kick him he quickly punched her in the face and she fell on onto the bed.
“I’ll deal with you later,” he sneered picking up his hook and turning back to Jamina.
Jamina tried to get onto her feet as she fought through the pounding in her head. The man glared at Jamina as he reached down, grabbed her by the neck and lifted her to her feet. The man was enormous; Jamina had to look directly up to look at his face. She feared that he would throw her out of the window.
“Why?” she coughed out.
“Because I can,” the man grinned.
As the man raised his hook above his head Jamina noticed the Christmas lights hanging from the low ceiling. She recognized that they were a battery brand. Something came over her and she quickly kicked the man between the legs. The howled as he dropped Jamina. She quickly jumped up, grabbed the lights from the ceiling and wrapped them around the man’s neck. The man hollered as he swung his hook at Jamina who managed to dodge it. The man stood up and Jamina could see fire in his eyes as she charged him with every bit of strength she could find, forcing the both of them out of the open window.
The rain had final stopped as Jamina blinked and twisted in pain on the lawn outside of the dormitory. Her entire body ached; she struggled to take in her surroundings. She rolled over on the lawn and screamed when she saw the man’s bloody face. He was coughing up blood as he struggled to pull his hook out of his chest. Jamina watched as the man twisted and twitched in pain until finally he stopped moving. Jamina fought the urge to close her eyes as she realized that the Christmas lights around the man’s neck had turned on.
Christmas was Jamina’s favorite holiday. Not because of the presents, although that was a bonus. Jamina loved the lights.